Jul 262019
 

Anybody who knows me well or has been reading the blog very long knows that when it comes to tools or fixing anything around the house, I am totally inept. It’s same way with fixing cars. Nope, not going to happen. Here’s what I know about tools – there are two kinds of screwdrivers, + and -. I know that because when I look at the business end of them, that’s what I see. Tape measures? Forget it. All those little lines get me confused. I can tell you if it’s two lines under or over a half inch, but that’s about it. Fortunately, Miss Terry can fix anything, or else I’d have to get a job as a Walmart greeter at night just to help pay all of our handyman bills.

But at least I’m good at something. I have absolutely mastered the art of screaming like a little girl. Especially when this guy jumped on my shirt last night as I was taking the trash can out to the street.

You know that thing people always say about when you surprise a critter, they are more afraid of you then you are of them? That’s BS. I know this because then he jumped onto the side of house and stayed there. I was the one running inside to change my undies! I’ll tell you what, after that experience, if I was a drinking man I would be wasted right now.

As if that weren’t bad enough, Terry had to point this lizard out to me on the carport, too. I don’t know what ate its tail, but I wish it would come back and finish the job. And have it’s bug eyed frog buddy for desert.

When I’ve got this kind of invasion going on around me, where’s my granddaughter Destiny? She may only be 12 years old, but she’s more of a man that her grandpa will ever be. Just ask any creature that flies, hops, or slithers into her yard in Arizona.

That girl and her big sister Hailey both even like snakes! I want a DNA test because I don’t think either one of those girls are even remotely related to me. The only two animals I want to be anywhere near are real dogs (not those little barking rats some people claim are dogs) and fish. Preferably the fish will be fried, but baked or broiled is okay, too.

Be sure to enter our latest Free Drawing. This week’s prize is an autographed copy of Big Lake Wedding, the fifteenth book in my Big Lake mystery series. To enter, click on this Free Drawing link or the tab at the top of this page and enter your name (first and last) in the comments section at the bottom of that page (not this one). Only one entry per person per drawing please, and you must enter with your real name. To prevent spam or multiple entries, the names of cartoon or movie characters are not allowed. The winner will be drawn Sunday evening.

Thought For The Day – When I was a kid grownups would always say “excuse my French” whenever they said a swear word. I’ll never forget my first day at school, when my teacher asked if any of us knew any French.

Nick Russell

World-Famous, New York Times Best Selling Author, and All-Around Nice Guy!

  3 Responses to “At Least I’m Good At Something!”

  1. I’m with you 100% on the animals, Nick. I LOVE dogs, and some cats are ok, but the rest of them can find another animal lover. Especially after the time I got sleepy working on my computer in our motorhome, laid my head down on my desk and a FROG jumped on the back of my neck!!! I was no longer sleepy! My husband was my hero….. he got up out of bed (it was very early in the morning) and caught the little bugger for me and threw it out.

  2. I know just how you feel. When that poisonous frog jumped on me in Costa Rica, I about had a heart attack. Turns out it wasn’t going to kill me, but I didn’t know that. I could use a Destiny at MY house!! LOL

  3. Your granddaughter must be made of the same stern stuff as my niece, Angie. When she was quite young she crawled under the crawlspace of their house to kill & drag out a big old bull snake. She was the only one small enough to get under there. Just thinking about it gives me goose bumps!! She’s still fearless as a full grown adult.

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