Anybody who knows me well knows that I have absolutely no business messing around with tools. Not a wrench, not a screwdriver and heaven forbid not a saw! You know those tiny little screwdrivers that come with a couple of miniscule screws that people use to put their eyeglasses back together? We’d be better off letting a swarthy young man with an AK-47 and a cardboard sign that says Kill the Infidels pass through a TSA checkpoint than to let me have one of those!
And forget power tools! I once lost a digit to an electric pencil sharpener. Okay, I didn’t really lose a digit to an electric pencil sharpener, but back in my newspaper publishing days I did get my tie caught in an office paper shredder. Fortunately some sort of safety device built into it said, “Stop! Nick’s got his tie caught in us again!” and I wasn’t chopped and diced along with the papers I was trying to get rid of. But have you ever tried to disengage yourself from a paper shredder when you’re the only one in the office? Trust me, it’s not easy!
Now, Miss Terry, she’s another story. She loves tools, and she knows what to do with them. For those of you who are not familiar with her abilities, here are a few pictures of the oak cabinets Terry built in our MCI bus conversion. Now, she didn’t go to Home Depot and buy cabinets, she bought wood and built them from scratch. No shortcuts for her, she built them the same way she cooks and bakes. Start with good materials and take it from there.
I used to always say that some men go to Frederick’s of Hollywood and get their ladies sexy garter belts and such, but to win my darling’s heart, I take her to Lowes to look for a new tool belt! Some people might think the fact that I’m so inept and my wife is so talented makes me less of a man. But I know me better than anybody else in the world does, and trust me, there are so many things that make me less of a man that tools don’t even figure into the equation!
But I’m proud to say that our dear friends Bill and Mabel Becker have found a way to boost my fragile male ego when it comes to tools. The other day a package arrived at Terry’s parents for us, and inside was my very own tool belt, complete with hammer, saw, wrenches, screwdriver, and even a drill! Somebody find me some wood, I’m gonna build something!
Speaking of building things, check out Joshua Couch’s neat website, Truck Camper Porn. Don’t worry, there’s no real porn there, but you’ll see some neat homebuilt truck campers.
Thought For The Day – I’m allergic to food. It makes me break out in fat.